, ,

It's not a yes/no test

Tuesday, September 1, 2009 Leave a Comment

Today baby P went for his 4 month shots.

As usual, we were running late -- and not only because he's 5 months old. As I was buckling him into his carseat, he looked at me with the face he makes when he's filling his britches. Blowout. Back inside for a full change.

Then my 3 year old insisted on bringing every single one of the Cars characters with us, and we couldn't leave until I found Chick Hicks, so by the time we lugged all that into the waiting room, we were already 15 minutes late.

Then the receptionist handed me a 4 page developmental questionnaire to fill out. While P fussed, and my 3 year old refused to share toys with the other children in the waiting room, I zoomed through the questionnaire.

Is your child chuckling or laughing? All the time.

Does your child react to his reflection in the mirror? With utter delight.

On his tummy, does he lift up his shoulders? Yes. His head? Yes.

If you move a toy in front of him left to right, does he follow it? Yes. Up and down? Yes.

Yes, yes, yes. I answered yes to every single question, in between trying to get the 3 year old to share, jiggling the baby on my knee, and worrying about the impending shots.

When the doc came in, he said, "I've never had someone score 100% on this test!"

He is 5 months, I said, trying to recall all the questions.

"He scored like a 6 or 7 month old," the doc teased. He put him on his tummy, and he lifted all four limbs off the table, a perfect plane position, his head up.

He's right on track with those Babycenter emails, I said.

Then I realized -- with much embarrassment -- it wasn't just a yes/no test, there was a "sometimes" answer, too. Trying to multitask, thinking five steps ahead of where I was, I hadn't given much thought at all to the questions. Does he stand flat-footed? Well, no, he couldn't even stand yet, although in the jumperoo he used to get blisters on his pinky toes, and he doesn't anymore. "Yes" was probably not the right answer. Does he laugh at other people's voices? Well, yes, he laughs at his brother all the time. Does he reach for toys if I hold them in front of him? Well, yes, the poor thing is stuck under the playmat, reaching for toys, way too often while I try to amuse my 3 year old and do Mount Laundry and get myself showered before 5:00.

Now that I'm home and obsessing about the dumb test, I feel like an ass. Are all the nurses rolling their eyes over the mom who thinks her baby is perfect? Why don't they mail me the questionnaire so I can focus on it? Really, he's just a normal baby, nothing out of the ordinary.


  • Anonymous said:  

    i had the same thought. Mail the test! Or put it online. I'm always scrambling to fill it out while G tries to escape the front door to visit the cow statues. Half the time I fill it out AFTER the doctors visit